I think my friend Bevin introduced the idea of sympathy vs. feedback idea to me:
When someone complains to her about something, first she lets them get it all out
Then she asks (I’m paraphrasing), “Okay. What are you looking: sympathy or feedback?”
I thought of this approach when I saw this in a Facebook group:
After receiving a dozen or so comments with feedback about the home buying process, she posted again:
If you’re looking for sympathy, talk to your husband, your parents, or close friends — and let them know what you’re looking for.
Because random strangers on Facebook are not obligated to offer you a safe space where everything works out.
They should be courteous, but they can be critical
They should empathize, but they’re entitled to an opinion
They should be helpful, but that can mean telling you you’re wrong
An important distinction:
Sympathy makes you feel better.
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Photo Credit: Dennis Skley, Rosa Menkman
