I turned 32 last week.
Every year, I love looking back and realizing how much I didn’t know the year before. To that end, here are 12 things I got wrong (or have been getting wrong for a while) and how I changed my mind.
1) “I only need 5-6 hours of sleep a night.”
For 10-15 years, I slept 5-6 hours per night. That’s all I needed, I told people.
Technically it worked. It’s how I managed to work four jobs while in college. Sleep deprivation just became my new normal. I thought everyone fell asleep whenever they sat down for longer than five minutes, and needed three power naps to reach the afternoon.
This year I’ve been working on getting 7 hours of sleep.
When I do, it’s amazing.
My work sessions are sharper. I’m in a better mood. And I don’t have to turn off my video during conference calls to squeeze in 5-minute power naps.
2) “I’ll never move back to my hometown.”
All my college friends heard me say this — at least twice.
Last month, I put a bid on a house and it was accepted.
Honestly, I’m thrilled.
Finally this pup will have a proper yard for frolicking.
3) “An online business is so much easier than a brick n’ mortar.”
For years, an online business was the PROMISED LAND. No overhead! Work from the beach! Live anywhere in the world!
Reality is more nuanced. Yes, of course online businesses have certain advantages over a BnM. However, it’s not all sunshine and unicorns. As a business owner, you’re still playing whack-a-mole with your problems, but instead of rent and inventory, you’re dealing with email deliverability or AWS issues. Neither type of business is easy. Both require work.
4) “I’ll never work in the restaurant business again.”
I hated the restaurant business. I started waiting tables when I was 14-years-old, and only knew the “Chinese way” of doing things: that’s heads down, 12-14 hour days, 6 days a week, and 1-2 weeks of vacation a year. Until you retired or died.
After graduating from college, my only criteria was “anything but the restaurant business.”
I got this wrong — multiple times.
And over the last few years, as I learned more about business as a whole, and realized the “Chinese way” isn’t the only way to run a restaurant, I found myself drawn to the business I dreaded for so long.
5) “We don’t need a military draft.”
Of course not… right?
I thought so too. Then my friend Kristina recommended this post by John Reed. Mr. Reed is a West Point and Harvard Business School graduate, as well as a Vietnam veteran. If you have strong feelings about the military draft (either for or against) I strongly encourage you to read the post.
6) “I’m just training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for health reasons. I never want to compete.”
7) “There’s no point in participating in politics.”
Like many inspired by the “low-information diet” espoused by Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Work Week, I embraced the “ostrich approach” to news and politics. Tune it all out, resurface every 4 years to vote in the presidential election by mail-in ballot, rinse and repeat.
However, the world today is not the same world 10 years ago. Even if you’re not interested in politics, politics is interested in you (recommended by Nat Eliason’s Monday Medley).
8) “I don’t need to pay for financial advice.”
Everyone’s situation is different, but working with a financial advisor helped me unlock what I call “mid-game” financial moves. Here’s a quick guide to decide if a financial advisor might be right for you.
9) “Kylie Jenner has no idea what she’s doing.”
The fact that Ms. Jenner wiped out a billion dollars worth of Snap stock with a single tweet dominated the newscycle for a hot second in August 2018. I thought she was irresponsible.
Then a source in the ad-buying world confided that Ms. Jenner owns Snap stock… and after the stock’s tumble, promptly picked up extra shares.
Things aren’t always what they seem.
10) “You should always put 20% down when buying a home.”
My entire life, the idea of putting 20% down was drilled into my financial beliefs. The more you can put down, the better! Debt = bad!
Even when financial advisors tried explaining why I should consider putting 10% instead of 20% down, I hesitated.
It wasn’t until I forced myself to sit down and run the numbers for a handful of rates, at varying interest-locks, at different private mortgage insurance points, did I realize I had it wrong this entire time.
Don’t be lazy. Run the numbers yourself.
11) “I can’t stand listening to that Taylor Swift song.”
What can I say? Marketing works.
And Ms. Swift is not only a brand marketing powerhouse, but she and her team have demonstrated a knack for growth marketing strategies in the Reputation marketing campaign, as well.
12) “I’m actually really productive with my time.”
Once I started tracking my time — to the minute — in my calendar, I realized how much productivity I was losing to “short” distractions. So I deconstructed certain bad habit loops (e.g. my incessant YouTube binge watching) and finally killed the most flagrant offenders of mindless time wasting activities.
Conclusion
The idea of changing your mind in light of evidence is often summed up as “strong opinions, loosely held,” first developed by Paul Saffo at Palo Alto’s Institute for the Future.[note]http://www.saffo.com/02008/07/26/strong-opinions-weakly-held/[/note]
The idea is: Believe in an idea enough to fight for it, yet be open to being wrong.
Recently, I heard Gary Vaynerchuk express the idea a different way:
“Be flexible.
Adjust.
You’re a different person at 22 than when you’re 28. You can’t beat yourself up for changing your mind. You just have to be thoughtful and self-aware of why you’re changing your mind.
Maybe the person you fall in love with is materialistic. And you’re just in love with them. You want to marry them, and they love shit. And suddenly, you’re buying shit you never bought before.
There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re grounded on what’s happening.”[note]A Roundtable Chat at the Barnes and Noble Crushing It Brunch | https://soundcloud.com/garyvee/a-roundtable-chat-at-the – 01:13:30[/note]
Here’s to another year of getting a lot wrong — and maybe one or two things right.
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Photo Credit: Matt Clark
