Couple weeks ago, I was researching charisma, the ability to build rapport, that sort of thing. It led me down the path of the Charismatic Man: the Bill Clinton’s, the Dale Carnegie’s, the Neil Strauss’s…
All of which were extremely interesting.
But not the right context for me.
A familiar voice creeped into my ear as the deadline for this research approached, a voice rooted deep in the lizard brain, strong and powerful — but one of very limited vocabulary:
Why did you take on this project? You’re not smart enough to figure it out.
You’re running out of time. You’re going to look like a fool.
This is more than you can handle.
I can’t say that I whirled around and told the voice to STFU, like the person at the movie theater who shouts at the Cell-Phone-Talker and everyone claps for. I’m not a “STFU” kinda guy…
I’m more a trench fighter. I dug deeper, like a seasoned WWI solider. Then I held my position, and paused… waiting for the signal to go “over the top.”
Then, I got the signal.
The Signal Fell Into My Lap
Figuratively, but only just.
I got this email from MATTER:
An article. On Charisma. And whether it can be taught.
Because I’m easily impressed by things like t-shirts of Ke$ha quotes and I make spreadsheets on how to save money on your health insurance…
I thought this was amazing!
Here’s the thing about little moments of serendipity like this:
Singularly, they’re not necessarily life-changing.
With life’s strange twists of fate and the awful, horrifying things that happen everyday…
It’s hard to believe that, yes, the Universe divined an appropriate use of Its time was providing me fodder for research.
Uh, the Universe has better shit to do.
At least, I hope.
Then again… it’s so easy to trudge on with the work. To say, “Oh, great, this is exactly what I needed” and continue working.
Without that pause. That moment where I stop The Climb — just for a second — and say, “Okay, that was cool.”
The pause takes a moment.
The pause is everything.
This Is Why You Gotta Pause
If you don’t take the pause… If you don’t stop and appreciate the million moments of serendipity firing past like neurons across the synapse… If you only pause to notice when you’re on the receiving end of the short straw:
- Your car breaks down on the freeway
- You get laid off
- You’re broke and back to waiting tables
- You lose on the river card
- Your pilot doesn’t get picked up
- You made less than 15% in tips
- You lose your case
- Your team misses the playoffs
Then you’re forever stuck in the mentality that: “the Universe works against me.”
It doesn’t. It’s just our nature to glaze over the best moments of our life, to ignore our happiness… until it slips away.
Then, you notice.
And it’s the Universe’s fault.
A Long Series of Serendipitous Moments
When I started pausing for the serendipitous moments, I began examining the proudest moments of my life under a different lens.
I think of:
- Working with my father to open the restaurants
- Meeting Amy
- Earning my first paycheck for reading a script…
…I used to think, “Yes, I willed those things to happen. I steered my life in that direction. I earned it.”
Which isn’t entirely false… but it’s not entirely true, either.
See, it was a long series of serendipitous moments that guided my life in that direction. Left to my own devices, I couldn’t single-handedly steer myself onto a certain course anymore than a rowboat can navigate the open ocean.
Think back, just three years ago… three years ago, I couldn’t predict where I’d be today.
Could you?
It was the long series of serendipitous moments that brings us to where we are today.
To have this moment.
This breath.
This life.
And I’m grateful.
Photo Credit: Croagh Patrick
