My friend Michael Alexis keeps a running list of life lessons, the way others might keep a list of half-baked business ideas or ex-lovers. He started compiling this list 3 years ago.
The entire list is worth a deep read. Here’s one I’ve been thinking about a lot:
“I am constantly blown away by how little I know.
If you roll back to any ‘six months ago,’ I thought I knew a lot, but in hindsight I’m surprised I was even functional.
I expect this cycle to continue indefinitely into the future.”
I find this inextricably true in my life as well. I’m confused about how I got anything done six months ago. That’s doubly true if we rewind to a full year.
Here are the three most high-leverage changes I’ve made in the last six months. They are high-leverage because these changes have influenced every part of my life.
In retrospect, they’re incredibly obvious and things that others friends have suggested at one point or another. It’s funny how you can hear something a hundred times, but on that 101st repetition, there’s an “aha” moment. You finally get it.
If you’ve been struggling with your energy or productivity, I hope this will get you closer to your “aha” moment.
1. Sleep 7-8 hours a night.*
I don’t know how I functioned on 5-hours of sleep for the last 11 years.
There are fewer “butt in seat” working hours, but:
- Writing has gotten clearer, better, faster
- Working out has become more focused and consistent
- I’m owning bigger and more complex parts for Reforge, and I’m more confident in my execution
I’ve heard the fabled benefits of sleep for years (you’ll live longer! get sick less! clearer skin!) but never quite figured how to make it work. Here’s the routine that finally unlocked it for me:
- An hour before bedtime (9pm), no more screens: computer is closed and downstairs. Phone is on Do Not Disturb and away.
- Take my shower.
- Eat and read.
- Stretch and foam roll.
- Sleep in a cold room and wear a sleep mask.
*Sometimes Oliver decides it’s not going to be a 7-8 hour night.
2. Delete Instagram.
Oddly, this was as big of a change as the sleep thing for me. I was hardcore on the IG train.
Instagram was where I went for a “little break”. It was the app I immediately opened after putting Oliver to bed. It was the last thing I looked at before going to sleep.
Then one day I realized this non-stop feed into the filtered lives of other people was fundamentally making me an unhappier person.
After that, it was pretty simple to quit cold turkey.
For more help on stopping your social media addiction, I wrote an article about it.
3. “I owe my family the best version of myself.”
Why do we try harder with complete strangers than we do with the people we love?
When we’re tired, we’ll pull it together to make small talk or at least force a smile with the co-worker, the barista, a customer.
Yet at the same point of exhaustion, we can’t be bothered to make an effort with the people we love. We lose our patience. We make snide remarks.
I’ve been guilty of this my entire life, and it’s completely backwards.
I owe my family the best version of myself.
Simple hack to remember this: I call it a “door trigger.” Every time I step through the door of my home, I say to myself: “I am so lucky to have my family and they deserve the best version of me… the happiest, most optimistic, kindest version of myself.”
Then I become that person.
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